Hollaaaah

If you're thinking of getting me something for my birthday, look no further. I dream of someday pretentiously saying "Oh that? That's just my robot vacuum."

In other news, it has come to my attention that Gwen Stefani's "Holla Back Girl" is nothing more than a remake of Toni Basil's "Hey Mickey." I feel like it's been ruined now.

It Just Makes Sense

If you are going to put an item from your spring/summer '05 collection in the new issue of Paris Vogue Hommes, shouldn't you make sure that item is available somehow, somewhere? I'm talking to you Puma. I need a new swimsuit, and you fit the bill nicely. Oh, but too bad you can't find this particular suit anywhere, except page 228 where it is featured on a model who also has a great haircut that I'm planning to steal. I can't wear a magazine! Rediculous.

I'm leaving Monday, and I still haven't packed a single thing. My apartment is so messy, I can't imagine where to begin. Tomorrow morning has been designated for cleaning, and then tomorrow night for the commencement of packing. My editor gave me a bunch of boxes today. I went to his house, and I was taken aback at the sight of him in shorts and sandals. Not that he looked bad, but just because I've never seen him outside of work and the idea that my editor does not wear a suit during every hour of the day was momentarily bewildering.

Lately I am so indifferent to the passing of time.

Best Friday Ever!

Things I did yesterday:

- Woke up at 8:30, realizing my alarm did not go off. Got showered, dressed and to work in 20 minutes.
- Met someone who actually won the GM OnStar Hotbutton contest. He's getting a free car soon.
- Hung out at a high school tennis tournament
- Rode in a helicopter
- Finished my Eddie Adams application
- Came home, and changed very quickly
- Drove to Detroit. It took two and a half hours because of rediculous construction
- Walked to an ATM with a parking lot employee, so I could pay for the parking. He tried to hit me up for $8 for a sandwich, I gave him 3.
- Went to the Decemberists show
- Paid $4.50 for a RedStripe. It was absurd.
- The Decemberists were wonderful
- The breakdown/guitar solo battle section of "Chimbley Sweep" lasted about 15 minutes, in which the Decemberists played a country western song, with lyrics about everyone in the band that were improvised by the adorable Ms. Petra Hayden, a 3 minute version of Hava Nagilah, and then they had everyone sit on the floor, while they played solos and things. Everyone jumped up and danced at the same time, when the song came back in.
- Left the Decemberists show and drove up Woodward Ave.
- Parked and walked to The Magestic Theater to see M.I.A. and LCD Soundsystem
- Got carded twice, before they told me "no cameras allowed" and I had to walk 5 blocks back to my car to put it away.
- Got carded a third time. It's a good thing that Aaron Richter is my twin.
- I've never seen so many beautiful people in one place in my entire life. It's like everyone there was a model, with great taste in music.
- M.I.A. was absolutely B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Diplo was on the decks, and lived up to his reputation. It was the loudest thing I've ever heard, my chest shook every time the bass hit.
- I forgot to eat dinner
- I got drunk much quicker than I expected to
- Nearly passed out waiting for LCD Soundsystem to play
- James Murphy and Williamsburg's finest came out and played for our dancing enjoyment
- LCD Soundsystem live is about ten times better than the cd. Everything is faster and dancier.
- I danced with my eyes closed for the first time in months.
- After every song, James Murphy introduced his very hot asian keyboard player Nancy.
- I danced, literally, until I could not dance anymore
- Kait called while I was at the bar
- I called her back after urinating in public and fighting off an entire legion of homeless people
- I arrived in Bay City at 3:00 am
- Went to sleep at 3:30

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

lostinmycourage: ok
lostinmycourage: so from the beginning
CUCCO86: breath
lostinmycourage: ryan finds out and he's like "all year I tried to be a different person, but not anymore"
lostinmycourage: and he takes off
lostinmycourage: seth calls marissa and is like "ryan knows"
lostinmycourage: she takes off
lostinmycourage: ryan shows up at trey's place
lostinmycourage: says he knows everything
lostinmycourage: trey pulls the gun
lostinmycourage: the same gun that the trashy slut girl gave him
lostinmycourage: the gun that was fired in the baitshop
lostinmycourage: and so he's like "just walk away"
lostinmycourage: trey says that
lostinmycourage: and then ryan pretends to
lostinmycourage: but then turns around and charges
lostinmycourage: and he's punching him in the face, over and over
lostinmycourage: and then slaming his face in a wall
lostinmycourage: marissa walks in
CUCCO86: haha
CUCCO86: FUCK
lostinmycourage: and she is freaking out, yelling "stop it!" and being a dumb bitch
CUCCO86: i bet
lostinmycourage: and then trey flips ryan over, onto a glass coffee table
9:00 PM
lostinmycourage: trey is pinning ryan down
lostinmycourage: choking him
lostinmycourage: marissa is still freaking out
lostinmycourage: then, all of a sudden
lostinmycourage: marissa grabs the gun and shoots trey in the back
CUCCO86: YES!
CUCCO86: haha
CUCCO86: i love that shit something fierce
lostinmycourage: trey looks back at marissa, and the lighting is absolutely wonderful
CUCCO86: haha
lostinmycourage: trey colapses
lostinmycourage: ryan stands up, and looks at marissa
lostinmycourage: seth and summer walk in
lostinmycourage: they see marissa in a ball on the floor
lostinmycourage: and trey bleeding on the carpet
lostinmycourage: ryan walks out of the room
lostinmycourage: end of season
CUCCO86: NUTS

The news is boring today

We'll continue with the literary recommendations with this. The idea of writing a short novel in the form of an instructional pamphlet (albeit a very long pamphlet) is absolutely brilliant. Also, the plotline involving returning to the estranged girlfriend is wonderfully poignant. I read this over Christmas break, and I started reading it again today. I printed my copy out on the big printer (lovingly nicknamed Mt. Fuji) at the Maneater office; my editors got really pissed. Perhaps you should not print your copy in the office of The Maneater. Apparently they do not appreciate these things.

Montreal might eat its young, but Montreal won't break us down

I dont think I'll ever get tired of this. I read it again last night, this time in the version that appears in How We Are Hungry, which is pretty much the same, except the story is framed by the preparations for a giant nacho feast called "La noche de los nachos." The story had two intermissions, where Kait called me to inform me of her adventures as a drunken crazy woman. If I ran for president, the bulk of my campaign would be plagiarized from the book. If Dave gets mad, I'll offer him a position in my administration. Thats basically what Bush did for John Bolton, who channels a pure and potent rage from his discolored mustache.

I'm so ready to leave Michigan. Lately all I want to do is go to sleep, and wake up two weeks from now. Also, while I am asleep gnomes (or elves, or trolls or something) should pack all of my things in boxes for me. That would be A+.

Today I was walking down the stairs in my office and I realized that last semester was maybe the best four months of my entire life. I made it seem so horrible, but it was seriously the best. In four months, I played on a cricket team, made some great friends and went to legendary parties (The Hamilton Way riot, anyone?). The bad stuff was just underneath all of that, until it finally boiled over at the end of the semester.

I'm really worried that I'll regret leaving Missouri. Lately I want to call the whole thing off, and just stay there. The scary part is, my GPA is so fucked, I dont think I have any choice but to transfer. More than anything, I'm worried that Denton will be no where near as cool as it was when I was in high school. I'm worried that I'll regret this for my entire life.

Message to Pete, 5/8/05

Hey pete, whats up?

How is boston lately? Seen any good lectures at harvard lately? The summer is coming, they wont have lectures for the next few months. What do you do in the summer? Keep in touch.

<3 Chris

Still Tippin'

My shoulder has been sore for like... days. I think I have arthritis.

Now that I'm leaving in three weeks, I'm discovering all the cool parts of Bay City. I hung out at a gallery opening last night and met a couple really cool photographers. I also got hit on by this crazy drunk chickenhead. Then today I found this little men's boutique that opened two weeks ago. They have some amazing shirts and blazers, that are european cut, so they fit me. Too bad they all cost like $300.

I'm also really starting to get addicted to hip hop. And not like, MF Doom and RJD2. I'm talking dirrty souf shit. Mike Jones "Still Tippin" is the best thing I've ever heard. And Da Back Wudz "You Gonna Love Me" is dirty south over a Kanye West type beat. Fucking rediculous, I love it.

The old lady that lives under me is having an argument with her son right now. All I know is that "Walk Like An Egyptian" finished on the turntable and all of a sudden I heard "FUCK YOU FUCKER!" being repeated over and over. She calms down every minute or so, but usually gets worked up again.

You havent really lived until you've heard a 96 year old woman curse through two layers of insulation and carpet.

Yes, its another vague post. Shut up.

And then things went back to normal. The scar on my hand is the only reminder.

So Weak Sometimes

I should be stronger than this

So reliant on an emotional crutch to navigate the snow covered fields and abandoned factories here. The rehab wasnt successful, "You're in much deeper than we thought," they said. Turns out they were right. I'm ready to be done with this. I can either keep the crutch or walk with a limp for the rest of my life. I'm not sure which is a worse fate.