It's Hilarious, Really...

It's a funny thing, being a DJ. You show up with your records, and everyone looks at you wondering if you are going to be good or if you are going to suck, leaving them to stay outside smoking cigarettes and talking to people they don't know about what classes they are taking. But then you play the right song at the right time, and everyone freaks out. It's really really easy, actually. You play a little "House of Jealous Lovers," a little "Deceptacon" (The DFA remix, if you know what you're doing), and then watch them go nuts. Girls will come up to you and tell you that they are in love with you (tonight set a new record, 6 times from one girl), they'll lick your face, they might even show you their breasts, all from playing other people's music. Your ex-girlfriend will probably just throw a bottle cap at your eye.
Make sure that you maintain energy with a mix of nostalgic 80s shit and current dance/hip hop/mashups/etc. Make sure that you play some 50 Cent for the three black guys standing in the corner. They've been watching skinny white kids dance to indie rock and 80s all night, so reward them with their patience by letting them do their thing. You should watch them do the Harlem Stomp, and then wish that everyone did the Harlem Stomp. Do not let the drunk raver kid throw up on you, or touch any of your equipment. Be nice to the people that help you carry shit in/out of the party.
Eventually it will clear out, and when everyone is gone you finally get to play that one song that you've been dying to play, but you know no one would dance to (Sebastian Tellier's "La Ritournelle (Superpitcher Remix)," for instance), and then you pack your shit up. Go smoke a cigarette, and watch your ex's ex pour his heart out to some poor bystander, who had no idea what he was getting himself into. Load your shit into your car, and drive home to your empty apartment. The girls who loved you, the ones who's night was made by you, they'll all be gone. They went home with other boys, the ones who couldn't really dance, but it was cute to watch them try. They only care as long as you are playing their favorite song. You were a god two hours ago, but it still doesn't change the fact that you are sleeping alone tonight.

Do They Know It's Halloween?

Also, DO NOT sleep on Halloweezer (510 N. 5th Street), where I'll be DJing after Feel The Glow, from 12:30-???(!!!).

Mixtapes Are The New Albums

Lately I've been toiling away behind the decks, and have managed to produce these two gems for your downloading pleasure. Pump Ya Brakes On That is what I would play at a dance party, and Water is more of a loungy/downtempo set. Listen to the first one while you're getting ready to go out, listen to the second while you are studying. Enjoy.

Chris Hires - Pump Ya Brakes On That

Tracks:
Jane Fonda - Arms/Ying Yang Twins - Wait (The Whisper Song)
Les Visiteurs - Snoop's Acid Drop
Donna Summer - Night Life
Out Hud - It's For You
New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle
Missy Elliot - Lose Control
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Jess and Crabbe Remix)
Spank Rock - Put That Pussy On Me
Gwen Stefani - Holla Back Girl (Diplo Remix)
Le Tigre - Deceptacon (DFA Remix)
LCD Soundsystem - Beat Connection
Tiffany - I Think We're Alone Now
Jane Fonda - Abdomen
Ratatat - Germany To Germany

Chris Hires - Water (Water is on YouSendIt, because I ran out of server space.)

Tracks:
Diplo - Summer's Gonna Hurt You
Le Tigre - After Dark (Diplo Remix)
Jürgen Paape - So Weit Wie Noch Nie
VHS or Beta - Night On Fire (Cut Copy Remix)
Spank Rock - Put That Pussy On Me (Low Budget's Philla Remix)
The MFA - The Difference It Makes (Superpitcher Remix)
2raumwhonung - Ich Und Elaine (Club Mix)
Ada - Lucky
Daft Punk - Too Long (Gonzales Version)

In case you can't tell, Put That Pussy On Me is easily my favorite song to spin these days. BALTIMORE STAND UP!

Oh, what the hell...

I've been absent, but with good reason. Big things coming up. Until then, here is this:

Winners:
- Being broke, but knowing you have friends because everyone pays for you just so you will come out
- A wealth of new mixes coming from my favorite person, Diplo, recently.
- Upcoming trip to Chicago
- Kanye West tomorrow night
- LCD Soundsystem on Thursday?
- potential new job(s)
- Ying Yang Twins (feat. Pitbull) - Shake (oh jesus, it's just so good)

Losers:
- Being broke
- Test in Intro To Political Theory tomorrow (I'm so fucked)
- Things seem to have stalled a bit, in regards to a particular social situation
- Being broke

Sometimes, I DO Feel Space

Lindstrøm - I Feel Space

You'll hear the intro, and say "Damn, this is some minimal shit! Is this a Superpitcher remix?" Then, the drums come in and you realize that it's a seven minute long strobelight house burner, and you try to hide your smile as you dig in. Listen to this on headphones, while walking around in any city. You'll think the world is melting.

Good Stuff:

- It's cold here (mid/low 30s at night). Finally!
- Grocery Stores. Aint too many feelings better than looking at a full fridge, especially when that fridge previously only held beer, milk and one lime.
- Gilmore Girls reruns, in the middle of the afternoon with the windows open, while sippin on coffee
- Good dreams
- The Certified Bananas lemon red mixtape that I posted about a few days ago (This shit is serious fire).
- Not being sick anymore


Not Good Stuff:

- The girl who sits next to me in my english class, who tries to participate in discussion within the first 10 minutes of class, and proceeds to say some dumb shit. Frustrated, she then tunes out completely and does crazy stuff that I can't believe the professors don't bust her on. Examples include homework for other classes, and balancing her checkbook.
- Three papers, and a test this week.
- Still being a little sick
- Having my DJ game cool off a bit recently.

Shake Your Love

Do yourself a favor, and download the new Lemon Red mixtape by Certified Bananas, right now. Despite the fact that they ripped the intro by Kool and the Gang that I was planning to use, it is still 30 minutes of absolute crazyness. What is it about "Let Me Clear My Throat" that makes people instantly wild out? Even skinny white boys like me will instantly start running around screaming when that beat drops. The military could use that beat to induce controled urban riots (useful for creating a crippling pandemonium in Iraq, or reminding Americans that poor people in urban areas can be terrorists too).

Fuck, they just dropped the echo drum beat from Diplo's XM set. Boys be serious on this shit. I don't ever want this to leave my headphones.