Get Familiar

Here's a quick blend I did of various versions of the new Chinkuzi riddim. Probably my favorite riddim to come out this year, South Rakkas continues to blow the doors off of what's going on in dancehall.

V/A - Chinkuzi Riddim
Tracks:

Busy Signal - Busy
Vybz Kartel - Good Buddy
Vybz Kartel - Good Buddy (Remix)
Bounty Killer - Gal Fi Get (Remix)

This will likely be played at Shattered, where I'm DJing on Friday incase you forgot. Don't sleep on it!

Fucking Hell

Where the fuck is my Coozie!? I just realized I've been massively delinquent when it comes to drinking. I seem to recall that at some point (around January?) that I had pledged to only drink from a coozie when imbibing alcohol, whether it be in a bar or a home. I need my beverage to be insulated! I need to have rubber to insulate my drink, and also make offensive jokes at the same time! When I get off work I'm gonna find it and then get drunk.

Disco Boots

CHRIS HIRES
DOLLAR BEER CANS
SHATTERED
FRIDAY AFTER THIS ONE


Also, I'll be DJing Mad Real Monday on July 3, keep your eyes and ears open for that one. There may or may not be a flyer for that event coming soon.

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

I guess when I'm home and bored and not working, and have no money to spend, I might as well fill up my time by blogging.

Gawker pointed out that the Wall Street Journal is reporting on the new "trend" of wedding photographers taking racier photographs of the bride as she's getting dressed for the wedding. I've got a lot of beef with this one, mostly for painting photographers as these pervs who charge thousands of dollars to take pictures of women in their underwear. They even use the phrase "so-called wedding photojournalists" as if wedding photography is a fabricated industry designed to take money from rich people (I mean, it is, but so is every other industry). The article also paints this as a "sign of the times" (when in fact this style of photography has been happening at weddings for years and years, before I ever held a camera), and points to factors like reality TV and increasingly liberal sexual values on the part of women, as evidenced by Bachlorette parties that rival the men as far as drunken crazyness. So women aren't allowed to be sexual now? They aren't allowed to be portrayed in a respectful way, that also displays their sexuality? I think that someone at the WSJ has beef with cleavage, and they need to stop blaming that shit on photographers. Move to Iran if you don't like it. And I don't even like wedding photography! The hours are long, it's boring, you have to wrangle family members and you wind up shooting and printing thousands of photos each weekend. People think it's crazy to pay $10,000 for a wedding photographer, but $10,000 is barely enough to make me put myself through that hell.

You can read the WSJ article here.

Now, on to Fear Factor and Joe Rogan

I'm more ambivalent about Fear Factor and Joe Rogan than most people are. My all-time third favorite hairstylist Jackson won a lot of money (think 7 figures) on that show with his wife. (In case you're wondering, the hair list goes 1. Robert, 2. Christian, 3. Jackson.) Joe Rogan was a groomsman at his wedding. Joe Rogan seems like one of those dudes who got out of college and didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Maybe he thought "Well, I was really good at being a frat guy. Maybe I should be a professional frat guy for the rest of my life." Tonight I watched Fear Factor because I only get two channels and According To Jim was on the other one. Maybe it's because I recently returned from a 4 month TV vacation, but I thought it wasn't a bad show. There was an aligator, some car wrecks, large breasts, pretty much everything that makes this country so great. Then at the end they cut to the Fear Factor Home Invasion segment. Apparently this is something new where they show up at someone's house in Bumblefuck, West Virginia at 10pm and set up a stunt in their front yard. The family members then compete in the stunt to earn $5,000. The thing that's ok about regular Fear Factor is that these idiots actually signed up for this shit, and most of them are well enough off that it doesn't matter if they win or lose. They either win some money for being an idiot or they look like an idiot and they go home with no money and their friends laugh at them. That seems like a fair trade to me. But when you show up to a lower class home in the middle of the night and make them dunk their heads in lard to go bobbing for rotten pigs feet (not an embelishment, this is what actually took place on TV tonight), all the while waiving $5,000 over their heads, THAT my friend is where you've crossed a line. Literally exploiting poor people, laughing at them while they do gross shit just so they can pay their rent or feed their kids, that's got to be one of the worst things I've ever seen. Joe Rogan and the assorted other producers of Fear Factor, you can eat a dick.

I Like Coffee

Mathew Herbert - An Empire of Coffee

This curious little gem showed up in my iTunes this afternoon as I was contemplating a nap. I have no idea where this song came from, or how it wound up on my harddrive. It's a weird one though, almost like a short film of a song, rather than a dance track. More things later.

I know nothing about football (soccer).

That's right, absolutely nothing. Every four years I see everyone get psyched about the world cup, and I have no idea about any of it. Ok, so here are some things that I know about soccer:

1. Brazil is supposedly very good at soccer
2. It's the most physically demanding sport in the world
3. When I played soccer at age 5, I was the kid who was afraid of the ball and ran away from it. I was in it for the orange slices and the Capri Sun.

So in order to correct this, I picked up a copy of Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby today when I was browsing at Barnes and Noble. Turns out that the book is not really about baseball, is supposedly not shitty (Nick Hornby is generally not a shitty writer), and there are absolutely NO mentions of Jimmy Fallon in it. I haven't started it yet, but I'm excited to get on with my education. Apparently there is something called Arsenal, which I guess is a team but I think that's a pretty dumb name, I can't even tell what city they're from. I guess they're a big deal though. I don't have TV, so I probably won't get to watch very much of the World Cup, but when I read about it on the internerd I hope to understand what's going on.

Update: The girl who just delivered my pizza was very hot. She got lost, and I still tipped her well because she was so focused. I've decided that I will be carrying on the great American tradition of emulating behavior seen on TV by ordering pizza as often as possible (the behavior in question can be seen on episodes of "Friends"). In addition, according to pornography I will only have to order no more than three pizzas before we have sex.