What the fuck happened?

I was doing so well, too! A whole week of relatively smooth sailing (The water is still black, but I'll take what I can get). And now this! All of a sudden tonight my body, my mind, filled with so much sadness. The sadness was so quick to turn into anger, the way blood oxigenates and turns red as soon as it hits the air. What happened? I swore I was ready for this, I guess I was lying. What happened to my life? A few people would like to know the answer to that question.

I'm looking at baby steps now. First, teaching myself to stay away from toxic live journals. Second, get rid of all of this anger. It is not appropriate, this feeling. I think I'm going to have to break something to do it, but I will rid myself of it. Third, continue to debate the merits of cross-country travel. Fourth, invent a time machine and go back to September when everything was good, the last time I felt like a person.