What yall really know about Thomas Gardner?

I'd like to take a moment to tell you about my boy Thomas Gardner. Tonight against Kansas, he put up 40 points. Did you hear me? I said

40!

...as in ounces, as in days and nights, as in COMPLETELY UNFUCKWITHABLE. Not only that, he was 7-8 from the line, leads the Big 12 in scoring and was the main force in helping the Tigers edge out the win over Kansas in overtime. When the game went to overtime, I was literally rolling on the floor of my apartment. I firmly believe at this point that good basketball is better than bad sex. Actually, I would go as far as to say it's better than mediocre sex too. So a warning to all the ladies: If you plan to get with this, you'd better come with it. Otherwise, I'm just going to get up and go watch ESPN. Jenny was at the game, hopefully she didn't die in the massive pile of bodies that hit the floor as soon as the final buzzer sounded.