Maybe This Will Shut Them Up

1) Cold Weather
2) DJing for people, rather than the wall in my living room
3) My Xbox
4) Poochietronix
5) Facebook Scandals

Honorable mentions:

Deadheads are pissed because they have less to put in their iPod Nanos

In short, my Calphalon pans are just as hard to take care of as a baby

This Should Be Taught In Every School

Update:

Directly related to Number 5